Not pregnant. I am trying to just be disappointed, but if I am honest with myself, I'm more heartbroken than I would have imagined. But this is a good thing. The week we were trying, I pendulumed wildly between excitement and blind panic. I couldn't believe I was actually putting myself in this position again. But as the trying was over, and it was down to the waiting, I became so hopeful, and so excited. And when the test came back negative, the sadness I felt confirmed more than anything (even sticking myself with blood thinner injections twice a day for two months) that I want this. My reaction was so drastically different from when I took the test with my fourth pregnancy. I've come a long way. So Operation Raptor is still on going. We'll keep you posted on mission status.
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